I hate blogging but whatever I will do it for my grade. Tonight I am going to salt lake city to get my drink on and party with my favorite girls. Next month I am moving to new york city and I am getting so anxious to go. I know this is the best decision for me right now in my life and I can't wait to get there. I will be for new years and I am so excited. I am going all alone which should be interesting but I think I will be ok. I have a friend that works for a club promoter and she said that she would love to hang out when i get there because she moved to new york city two years ago from Colorado. She is twenty five and I am twenty one and it should be really fun. I can't wait to leave utah. I love Utah but its time to say goodbye to my home of my whole life. I have had some amazing experiences and some really horrible ones. I will never forget where I came from and I am proud to be a Utah girl. I have learned and grown up so much in the past two years. I am a completely different person. I am happy with who I am. I have come a long way. I now realize what is important to me and what is not. I know what I want out of life and I know with determination I can get anywhere. I am thinking maybe after New York I will move to Florence or Rome. I want to learn Italian or maybe Paris and I will learn French. I have to all those places and I love them so much. I can't wait for new york I want to be there right now!!! I have a lot of dreams and goals that I need to accomplish in the next ten years. I wonder what I will be like when I am thirty one? I hope I have two hundred in this thing. I do not want to do homework anymore I just want to have fun but my education is very important to me so I will put up with it.

I hate blogging!!!! I have to do this for my class and I don't like it but I will do it for my grade. I am running out of things to talk on this that are not to revealing or personal. I am sitting in the library and as soon as I am done with this I have to study for a test that I have waited til the last minute to study for. I am moving to new york city next month right after christmas and I am so excited. I will be hard and it will be sad and lonely at times but I can hardly wait. I have wanted this since I was eight years old. I first went to New York when I was eight and have been back many times since then. It's strange that it is almost here. I have so much homework and studying to do before the semester is over it is stressing me out a little bit but I can do it. I just have to stay focused. I have a debate on economic equality on tuesday and I am anxious about it. I need to talk to my professor before I do this because I worried that I don't have the criteria correct. I have to start my final research paper and I have put that off long enough. I need to clean my apartment and my car and I need to talk to my comm. 1500 professor because I am really behind in that class and that class pisses me off I can't even start thinking about it. Its such a bull shit class and I hate the professor grades so hard when the criteria for the course is not teaching me anything.

I am moving to New York City in two months and the process to get there has been overwhelming hard. I am moving in with my cousin Angie to her apartment in Queens. She lives in a full Irish neighborhood and she said that I will have to fight off the irish men but I am scrappy I can do it. I am buying my one way plane ticket tomorrow and quitting my job well at least giving them my two weeks notice. This is a huge change for me and I will for sure be a challenge. I am going alone. I am going to the New School University and I will start in May. I will find a job as soon as I get there and an apartment and hopefully a roommate. This will be an adventure but I am so excited. I need this so bad and my whole life I have dreamed of living in New York City. Soon I will have accomplished that goal and its such a good feeling. I hate blogging it is the biggest load of bull s*** in the whole world. Blogging seems like it is so time consuming and rediculous. The funny thing is that most people that blog are married. I am saying that marriage is bad but maybe they blog because they are bored. Maybe marriage is boring maybe not. I don't know. All I know is that I don't see myself getting married for quite some time. I have a lot of dreams and goals to accomplish before I get married and I can't have some person following me around everywhere I go. Marriage is a good thing just not for me.

Florence

I was in Europe last May and for about two weeks me and six other friends were in Italy. Out of all the cities we ventured to Florence was my favorite. Rome was absolutely amazing but something about Florence will always stay with me and I can't wait to go back. Florence is very romantic, sensual and filled with history. Florence was the home to the great Michaelangelo. Everything about Florence is amazing. The city is just absolutely gorgeous and out of this world. The shopping, the history, the art, the museums, the cathedrals, the men, it is all so insane. The people in Florence were so cool too. We went clubbing a few of the nights and it is so interesting to me how even though our the USA and Europe are so far from each other the same innate emotions are in every person. There was a girl working at the bar from the Czech Republic and she was just living in Florence for a while but she wanted my boyfriend so bad and she hated me and I felt right at home in SLC dealing with girls that hate me for no reason. Those were good times. Our few crazy nights in Italy. We also had an insane in Paris, Greece and Switzerland. My next adventure will be to move to New York City in December and then I hopefully will find my way to Brazil, Peru, Indonesia, India and Japan. I do need to go back to Europe though and see all the places that we missed. Some day soon I will go back.

Going East

I can't wait to move to New York City. I am so sick of driving down university avenue it makes me crazy. I am so sick of braking every other second down that road. I have to drive it everyday because my apartment is in downtown Provo. I am so excited to start my new life in New York City come late December early January. I am so tired of everyday being exactly the same in here. I need a new experience, a new challenge, a new life and what is better than New York City. If I can survive there I can survive anywhere. I am going alone. I will be alone. I am applying to the New School University in greenwich village because they have an amazing creative writing program. I am going to get a job, go to school actually challenge myself and see what I can become. Here in Provo my potential is suppressed and I have come to halt and my personal growth is done here in Provo. Time to move on to something else. Everyday I think of myself in New York City. I picture myself living my life and accomplishing all my goals and aspirations. I can hardly wait, it is so close. I just have to stick it out here until the end of this semester and then I am gone. I am leaving Utah for good. I love Utah just not the experience I have had. I love the mountains I will miss them so much but now instead of mountains I crave sky scrappers. I long for the city where I can get lost amongst the millions of people. I can be alone and nobody will know me. So soon I will be there.

a girl looked in her apartment

There is a girl that hides in her aparment. She is unhappy with her current situation but she is trapped for in her situation for the next few months. For years this girl has dreamed of something more. She knows the world is a big place and she dreams and longs for everything that the world has to offer her. If only she could get her hands on the world, her potential would sky rocket. In her current position she is depressed, she dislikes everything that surrounds her. This girl suffers from constant longing for a life that will satisfy her needs that will provide for her potential that will inspire, challenge and motivate her. This girl just has to push through a really, mentally and physically draining semester and then she will gone forever. She will create a life for herself that she has dreamed of for many years. The opportunity is so close she just has to accomplish a few goals before she leaves. She has to say her good byes and leave her story and essence a legend in her home town. She will leave her family and friends and go out into the world alone and find herself, find who she truly is, who is capable of becoming and what she is capable of accomplishing in her life. Nothing will stand in her way, she will conquer any obstacle that challenges her. In three months she will be gone. She has moved onto a life that she has so longed for and a life that will make her happier than she has ever been.

The problem with this society.

The problem with this society is that everyone is trained to think the exact same way. This fault is to be placed on the LDS church. The amount of brainwashing that happens growing up in the churgh is wrong. Everyone is trained to think and believe the same things. How can anyone grown and change as individuals if everyone is being trained to think the same way? The judgement that happens in this society is wrong. The gossip that goes on in this society is wrong. I grew up mormon and had a horrible experience with the church and realized that I can think for myself and I don't have to aimlessly follow. I have the ability and freedom to search for truth in this universe. I am not going to pass judgement on others I am not going to deny friendship to those that grew up differently than me. I am now not mormon but that does not mean that I do not believe in God. The other problem with this society is that people think that i you are not mormon you must not believe in God, you must be a "bad person". I know I sound a little bitter but I have to say that I do not dislike mormoms. For some mormomism makes them happy and we are all searching for happiness so if that is what gives it to you than I am happy for you. But for me the church brought me nothing but confusion and hurt. So I just believe that those mormons that deny friendship or relations to people that are not mormon should create an open mind. You look ignorant and brainwashed when you cannot think for yourself.